I can't paint this into something happy when the canvas has been torn. I can't black it out. I make excuses for him, pretend that nothing happened at all. Anything to just save face. If anyone was in the wrong, it must have been me. I'll just laugh it off. I can just laugh it off. I should have been more careful. I should have been more clear. He said that it was normal. I ate up every word. I should have been more careful. I should have been more clear. He said that it was normal, and then he paid me for my time. Why didn't anyone say anything? They just went on with the party, like i didn't fucking make a difference. Why didn't anyone do anything? I couldn't protect myself, I was only a child
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