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A DIOS

by Snaggletooth

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1.
Faceless Back page of a small town weekly Just another ink blot on the blotter pages I'm sorry I never called Wasted That's what they always say But we both knew you knew your options I held your head in my arms as we shared more than simply tears That rope. That fucking rope just wouldn't give And I cut it with my teeth Too many close encounters We had that much in common You finally found a way out I hope that everyone else Believes it was just a car crash The truth hurts so much more
2.
When I wake up Sometimes my voice betrays me When I shake hands, no matter how perfect the manicure They'll always see the paws of a man I used to cry a lot but now I cry a whole lot more And every time I cry I make a face that stabs me in the back When I smile too much And when I don't smile enough Clocked. Clocked. Clocked. I fucking get clocked. When I break down Sometimes my voice betrays me When I have to reveal my medical history When people pry and pry and pry too much into my past When i smile too much And when I dont smile enough Clocked. Clocked. Clocked. I fucking get clocked. This is what they taunt us for This is what they beat us for This is what they rape us for This is what they kill us for
3.
Blood Out 04:55
You told me blood is thicker than water, but it turns out my blood my blood it turns to piss if I don't play the hijo Late night phone calls There's a first time for everything Late night phone calls It wasn't enough to keep talking shit behind my back I can finally look at my own face without hatred But why did it have to cost so much? Nadie me dijo que tenia Que tenia que cortar a mis raizes Nadie me dijo que tenia Pero quiero vivir
4.
Exit Plan A 03:52
5.
Exit Plan B 02:43
Sixth grade and it was not enough to simply feel the knife anymore I had to get the fuck out. Escape. I couldn't take it. I shoved a veil between my body and my mind And found that I could breathe But only through a tube It proved much easier to just numb the pain of boyhood than it was to look inside How was I to know I could be mended? That all these years I'd been fixing the wrong medicine? Forced to watch my reflection grow more distant every day How could I say no to such a lovely blindfold?
6.
Bi Bi Bi 02:12
Pick a side they tell us You are just confused But they need our numbers in their alphabet soup They keep us around to pad their wallets But when the fuck do we get to speak? And now the universities are regulating our identities They want us to turn bisexual into a four-letter-word Our lives are apparently only useful if we tout the party line Am I fucking subversive enough yet? Does my identity fit your politics? The bi is for biting off the faces of assimilationists The bi is for biting my tongue for too fucking long Not for binary
7.
Such anticipation Impossible expectations But it all seemed possible until we got the cal Merry fucking Christmas What an atrocious, beautiful ornament I want to see you some day soon I long to see you some day soon I need to see you some day soon I know I'll see you some day What the fuck is childhood without constant loss? I need to be finished here. I need to be done.
8.
I can't paint this into something happy when the canvas has been torn. I can't black it out. I make excuses for him, pretend that nothing happened at all. Anything to just save face. If anyone was in the wrong, it must have been me. I'll just laugh it off. I can just laugh it off. I should have been more careful. I should have been more clear. He said that it was normal. I ate up every word. I should have been more careful. I should have been more clear. He said that it was normal, and then he paid me for my time. Why didn't anyone say anything? They just went on with the party, like i didn't fucking make a difference. Why didn't anyone do anything? I couldn't protect myself, I was only a child
9.
Give a Shit 02:33
I've heard it all before, but it never amounts to a thing. Throw your records on the floor, and we have nothing in common. And you have nothing to say. And where does that leave us? When convictions are traded for indifference? With a room full of straight white men watching the show, running the show. And you act like its nothing, and you act so removed. You close your eyes to everything, and everything else in the world is already filled with misogyny and apathy. But that's not enough for you. You have to bring your ignorance and arrogance and violence here, too. It's not different, it's not edgy to pedal oppression. What's the point in what we're building, if it's just a statuette of what we were born into? I never felt welcome there, I'll never feel welcome here, until someone decides that it's cooler to give a shit than banging your head to whatever you hear. If you don't care about creating something more, then cut those patches off of your clothes and go home.
10.
Dorner Dear 01:28
My baby loves me, but he never shows his face no more. I still see him every day. And so do you. My baby's on the front page of the LA Times. He looks so fucking good. my baby's on the front page of the New York Times. He did it all for me. And I can't pretend that this is easy, when I know that he's not coming home. I hope they know that if they find him, he sure as hell won't die alone. You better watch your back mother fucker, cause he's gonna protect and serve.

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released July 11, 2015

Recorder at Underdoom Studios by Jason Hallyburton. Art by Ryan Littlefield.

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Snaggletooth Chico, California

Snaggletooth is some friends making emo music for the revolution.

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